UPDATE 2.05.08

Okay, this is creepy. I put an update at the bottom then reread the entire post and realized that the "Human Download" story I'm updating isn't even on this post! So what happened to it? Creepy.

I'm moving the entire update here after a brief intro to what it is I'm actually updating....

Here's an email I wrote to UFO Mag editor Nancy Birnes on July 5th, 2006:

Know that peace/love/possession energy I've been blabbing about? Last night it uuuuh for lack of a better term, "downloaded" Russian documents into me. I know, I know--totally something schizo's say. But I'm on the verge of solving this riddle, I think, cuz I've been working on the fear factor and I think the craziness is about to take a turn.

Rambling, like a...like a....

You don't need to respond to this. What's to say, really, except, RUSSIAN DOCUMENTS??? WTF?!?!?!

Numerous people have told me it's not Russian but probably a star language. The problem is, I took Russian in high school and it looked like THAT. Plus, the writing was on paper. I mean I saw pages and pages--reams of actual documents going into me. Anyway, I left that in my gray basket (no pun intended) until today. Now I think I might have an answer and the answer is this....

2.5.08

Just emailed this to Nancy Birnes but if anyone has an answer, feel free to chime in....

Hi, Nancy:

Remember that time I told you I had what I thought were pages and pages of Russian-looking documents "downloaded" into me? Well I'm reading what Google has to say about kundalini and chakras and I got to this:

"The late Itzhak Bentov studied Kundalini from an engineering perspective. According to Bentov (1990), the 7.5 Hz oscillation of the heart muscle rhythm induces mechanical Hz frequencies in the brain, that in turn create a stimulus equivalent of a current loop. The nerve endings in that loop correspond to the route through which the Kundalini "rises".

"This current polarizes the brain part through which it flows in a homogeneous way, effectively releasing tremendous amounts of stress from the body. The body then becomes an effective antenna for the 7.5 Hz frequency, which is one of the resonant frequencies of the ionosphere. In layman's terms, you then pick up information from the air."

Laziness…setting in…don’t…want…to rewrite….hope it makes sense as is….Thank god for the lowered expectations of the blog….

This may be the most outlandish thing I’ve ever written. No, make that second. The first is buried on one of my websites. Catch me if you can.

For the past few weeks the meditation energy that’s been occupying this here body since early 2001 has been concentrating most of its effort on my spine. I don’t know which vertebrae or even if it matters which, but if you throw your right arm over your right shoulder and slide your hand down as far as it will reach then press, that’s the one. The energy has been guiding my hand to that piece of spine and running it up and down from just below my navel. It’s a long, fat journey for my poor hand, trust me.

It’s not just gliding across my skin. The maneuver usually—but not always—goes like this: slap my hand along whatever invisible line(s) this thing is working on and then glide the hand along that same route.  It’s much like the brutal massage technique of stimulating one’s back with open-palm smacks, then smoothing it out.  When the meditation energy does this, it often concentrates on specific places: my stomach, my throat, the top of my head, between the eyes, an area on my chest.

I’ve seen correlates to these spots in literature on chakras, or energy centers, and figured it was activating them. The area concerned for the past few weeks has been that spot on my spine and also the nape of my neck. When it rubs the back of my neck it does so rapidly as if trying to heat it.

***

Last week I had a dream that I was a young adult at a Catholic “Boy’s Town” style adoption home (except co-ed.) The person playing “me” didn’t look like me and he had male friends who weren’t people I know in real life.  We walked up to the front door where an older Chinese man in charge told me that I was leaving the home. Because of this, some of the other guys at the home were going to beat me up in the parking lot later in the day. I told him he couldn’t do that and he said the archbishop approved it. I turned around and there was the archbishop, an elderly white man, sitting in a chair shrugging his shoulders in agreement.

I grabbed the Chinese man by the hair and smashed his head through the top and then bottom glass pane on the door to the home. I figured if I took him out I’d have time to say my goodbyes before he could assemble the gang that was going to beat the crap out of me anyway. Plus I was leaving. It’s not like I’d be in trouble for hurting the supervisor.

Having knocked him out I ran inside, presumably with my friends. The dream cuts to me surrounded by kids and a nun named Sister Mercy. She’s the one I really wanted to say goodbye to. She challenged me to a friendly game of mercy. I accepted and so we locked hands. I was much stronger but she couldn’t feel pain.  I said, “Oh! Now I get it! This is why you’re called ‘Sister Mercy.’ It’s not because you feel compassion, it’s because you never lose at mercy. You’ll just wait for me to tire out because you feel no pain and then take over and win.”

She conceded that this child’s game grift is the origin of her name.  With that the game ended. I knew I had little time because the supervisor surely would be assembling the boys to get me by now, so I said my goodbyes. I told Sister Mercy that I’d always trusted her and I wanted to show her something to get her opinion of what was going on. I wanted to do this in private, so she made the children leave us to our expansive, unfurnished room.

With everyone else gone, I demonstrated this meditation energy. I could feel the top half of my spine heating up. The area from that point I press down on to the nape of my neck glowed white. My body did its usual martial arts/yogic dances common to this meditative trance. My face contorted into expressions that happen semi-frequently during wake-state sessions. For the grand finale, I sat cross-legged and the energy moved me all around the room, sliding my body across the floor. Through it all, Sister Mercy looked frightened. I thought she’d be amazed but she said I was possessed and fled the room.

When she told me I was possessed the neutral dream took on the emotional dread of a nightmare. A weird thing happened: an aspect of me became aware that I was dreaming, but it wasn’t an aspect that was partaking in the dream. In other words, I didn’t “wake up” into the dream as that character sliding across the floor and take conscious control of the situation. That is what normally happens when I wake up into a dream. No, I was still out of control, a slave to the vision, but a vague aspect of me was, in fact, conscious that this wasn’t real. Because it had turned into a nightmare most of me wanted to wake up, but that one little piece struggled to stick with it, to wait out the fear.

The fear won out. I woke up into an image that flickered its way into full hypnopompic glory. It was of a TV news program wherein I watched footage of a round silver object emitting plumes of black smoke crash into a dessert floor. A thin, dark-skinned male reporter with a moustache was on the scene explaining what we viewers were watching but, alas: as with all of my previous hypnopompic visions, there was no audio. Still, I had the sense that I was watching a UFO crash.

During this vision, that white glowing energy from the dream continued vibrating through my upper spine like a fluorescent tube bulb.

***

Am I possessed? That question has been haunting me from the first day this energy started haunting me. This is a dream I’ve had many, many times—not the details of it but the message that I’m possessed and with that, the transition into night terror. I have had experiences with this that clearly felt and looked like possession but if that’s the case, it’s only partly the case. This energy has numerous aspects, but are they emanating from a possessing other or is this possessing other one among the many aspects? And is it a possessing other or would an energy that is of me, lying dormant in this body necessarily take on the appearance of a possession once activated?

Is the whole thing a necessary illusion? Is this what happens when beings who believe they are 3-dimensional wake up to other dimensions? Does that 4^th dimension appear as something separate?