Culture of Contact Episode 17: The Flatwoods Monster
Played: 1498 | Download | Duration: 01:04:19
Flatwoods Monster experts Frank Feschino & Alfred Lehmberg discuss one of the most misunderstood cases of a UFO crash in modern history. If you're a dope like me and dismissed this case because you heard the word "monster," prepare for a shock!
Jeremy --
Great stuff as usual. I actually laughed out loud with your closing bit.
(Boy, I needed that.)
Daniel
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Cool. Thanks.
Doesn't Lehmmy Lehm Lehmberg have a great voice for radio? He should get a casting agent and go for voice-over work. Or read us a bedtime story.
Yeah! Alfred! If you're out there: Read us a Christmas story on the podcast!
Also, sorry about editing out a bit toward the end. I'd told Frank I was going to use the whole interview but the program I edit in only allows you to edit up to an hour six minutes or so. Something had to give.
Stan Friedman mentions the book & Frank in my interview with him at Book of Thoth, so hey! Double plug!
Now...What's for lunch?
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This sulphuric smell does appear to accompany a lot of close encounters, makes me wonder if the smell is a sign of the propulsion used, a deterrant to keep people away or just the alien's natural musty odour
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"Lehmmy Lehm"?
You turgid flap-doodle of unctuous intransigence, you!
alienview@roadrunner.com
> www.AlienView.net
>> AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/
>>> U F O M a g a z i n e -- www.ufomag.com
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Thaaaaaat's right. Look right past the compliments and go straight to the perceived insult, which wasn't meant as an insult. I am not now, nor have I ever been... a flap-doodle.
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I have pictures! Sworn testimony! Circumstantial inference, and physical evidence! Dyed in the wool flap-doodle with flitty-wa-do accessories and attached cockamamies otherwise festooned with hint and innuendo!
Sure, you deny flap-doodle, repudiate flap-doodle, pretend the pretense of a staunch anti-doodleite -- but Sir! What wind in yonder light-show breaks?
alienview@roadrunner.com
> www.AlienView.net
>> AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/
>>> U F O M a g a z i n e -- www.ufomag.com
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Methinks thou doth confuse flatulence with doodling flap.
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Sir!
A "flap-doodle" is not a "doodling flap" and so is incapable of an always errant flatulence according to guild bylaws, as you know!
It is suspiciously disingenuous of you to remotely suggest such is so.
Your slanderous charge is ridiculous on its face! Any reference to same has to be couched such that an agreed to Zen bindu is chanted and a three-fold principal is in effect certified with the support of three elders in the Church of "It's Not What You Think."
I ascribed to the procedure assiduously. The elders agree.
Water nixies appeared and damned you as an enemy of the one true faith! You'll have to take my word for that. The rest is history. I shouldn't say any more.
Flap-doodle! Don't deny it; it is a fact and you know it to be true. Know shame flap-doodler! Don't scurry and dive like a pool bug escaping the leaf bag of righteousness!
The net is inexorable like Paris after a butt-crack photo op, or Rush Limbaugh after a rolling HoHo.
Don't live a lie! Be brown or clear town.
alienview@roadrunner.com
> www.AlienView.net
>> AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/
>>> U F O M a g a z i n e -- www.ufomag.com
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Listen, stop taking over threads that aren't about you or I'll ban you like Michael Horn. This is about Frank Faschino and Alfred Lehm....Lehm.... Oh. Alfred Lehmberg. It is you. Hi. Never mind.
Look, are you gonna read us a story for Christmas or not?
And why do we always use "listen" or "look" to being drive-the-point-home sentences? There are three other perfectly good senses, plus the sixth sense, plus love. Well, I guess the Brits use love to address people so...that's out.
Smell what I'm cookin'?
Sincerely,
The Flap-Woods Monster
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...Christmas stories, eh?
Ok -- here's a "Christmas Story" for ya!
Long, long ago in a galaxy presently inhabited by a hapless humanity, before Christmas was a purloined pagan holiday appropriated to jump-start a fledgling Christianity, or even before it was further corrupted into a corporate Trojan Horse foisting crap on a betrayed and abused over-population -- it was a more honest belief symbolized by an evergreen tree festooned with the testicles of large food animals signifying everlasting life, fertility, and plenty.
So, when hanging those globular ornaments from the tree this year, think about what's really swinging on the branch and think life everlasting, fertility, and freedom from want. All in all a little better I suspect than what's practiced presently.
HoHoHo! [g].
alienview@roadrunner.com
> www.AlienView.net
>> AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/
>>> U F O M a g a z i n e -- www.ufomag.com
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Cool, but you've gotta read it on the show. I'll deck it out with music and effects. It'll be something to behold.
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Good show guys and a good job as usual Jeremy.
So let me get this straight, the "monster" was some kind of machine? No?
I may not be a flap-doodle, but I have been known as flatulent. Does that matter?
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Yup, sounds that the "Monster" was a mechanical suit or probe of sorts. There was a further sighting a small distance away, one day later in Frametown of a reptilian "being" top half with the bottom half of the "flatwoods monster" machine. Take a look at www.flatwoodsmonster.com at the "frametown" link. Theres a cutaway picture of the reptilian in the flatwoods "suit".
Should i use my real name on here I ask myself, oh what the heck..... Frootloop sounds like a breakfast cereal anyway.... oh wait a minute.....
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